Mean Aunt I-Don’t-Think-So and her Educatin’ Ruler of Pain
Listen up, little whipper-snapper. I know you have grand ambitions and high hopes, but before you get there you must develop some pretty thick skin.
Pshaw? You say pshaw? Well, this here story might give you a wee bit of an attitude adjustment. Be thankful that ol’ Mean Aunt of mine ain’t around.
What? *grin* Oh, she’s your aunt too. Now shush, little one, and I’ll tell you the tale of Mean Aunt I-Don’t-Think-So and her Educatin’ Ruler of Pain.
I used to think a little talent and a lot of hard work was enough for me to make it big. “One day, I’m gonna be a famous author,” I used to say.
Oh, yeah. I was gonna wake up one morning and be the next big name.
So I reached out to grab my slice of success. Ol’ Pouty-puss-rain-on-your-parade mean Aunt “I don’t think so” promptly put the smack down on my ego.
Oh boy, did that smart!
I learned right quick that there is more to a slice of success pie than slapping it down on a publisher’s plate and diggin’ in.
If only things were that easy. But no. There was writin’, editing, query letters, drafting and revising a synopsis, nailing a blurb, picking excerpts, creating a bio; and once I got done with all that, there was even more. More edits, revising, editing, starting another story, editing, all the while trying to be patient while playing the waiting game. Finally, FINALLY my baby went public.
What? You think it’s time to dig in?
Oh, no. Not yet. Now that I’ve dished it up I must network, promote, grovel, join every social medium out there until I find what fits, blog, guest blog, and get to know other people. I must grit my teeth and play nice when I don’t really want to, be wary of showing favoritism, and act professional at all times despite the fact I didn’t plan on any of this to begin with.
And all the while, my favorite aunt hovers over me tapping the edge of that ruler against the palm of her hand. And I sweat. Oh boy do I sweat. See the beads, right there? Yeah, she scares me. She’s a mean one, that lady. I sweat buckets because I know the pain, and she’s way too eager to show how much she cares. Inevitably I’ll do somethin’ stupid again, such as makin’ sloppy with the whip cream of networking, because my hands are shaking so bad thinking ‘bout that ruler. And the pain of her reminder isn’t enough. No. She expects it to be fixed.
Yep, young ‘un, I’m an introvert. A perfectionist introvert at that. And I know my Dear Mean Aunt and her Whackin’ Ruler are gonna be around for a while.
Fortunately, the opportunities she gets to whack me are less and less every day. It helps that I’ve made a few good friends who share my pain.
Maybe my skin has finally become calloused enough that I almost look forward to the thwack of that ruler.
Oh, criminy! Here she comes now. Y’all better run!
Heather Wildman has been writing for twenty-plus years but only recently decided to take her “scribbles” public. Word art has been a passion for her since eighth grade when one wonderful teacher stepped up and nurtured that desire and need. Her debut novella, “Ebin’s Heart“, is now available at Red Rose Publishing.
You can also fine her here: http://psychoticblah.blogspot.com/
For sitting through the silly, mildly embellished story of my escapades into the world of publishing, I’m offering a chance to win a free copy of “Ebin’s Heart” to one lucky person who takes the time to leave a comment. 😀