Sex seems to be the topic around here lately.  Please welcome today’s guest blogger Leslie Lee Sanders.


I can make people blush with just a few words in a sentence . . . because I write sex. It’s not boring sex that leaves you guessing, it’s downright explicit and detailed. I bundle it up in a story of love and desire that can make a person embarrassed that they were ever aroused.

It wasn’t that long ago when I discovered that certain reads made me blush. There was once a time when I had no idea erotic romances or erotica existed (and that was just 6 years ago).

Exploring the wonderful free reads on the Net, I stumbled upon an erotic adventure that had me absolutely hooked. What hooked me most was that this particular story consisted of an all-male threesome that just blew my mind.

It didn’t just leave me aroused it left me in love. I fell in love with these characters; they were so real to me. Their issues, their love and loss, their desire and emotion just swamped me. Before I knew it, I was up until 3am every night after work glued to the computer screen, reading about these wonderful characters and their lives. I was absolutely hooked.

And I blushed the whole time.

It was just so naughty yet brilliant. “Why aren’t there more reads like this?” I thought to myself.

So, at the time I was determined to create my own threesome in an erotic romance. Little did I know ménage reads already existed and were becoming more and more popular with e-publishers. However, that alone wasn’t a good enough reason for me to think I can write sex so well I can make others blush. Over time, this is what I learned:

What makes “the good” in writing sex?

  • Character emotion
  • The amount of detail
  • Fulfillment of pleasure
  • The look behind the bedroom door
  • Detailed character description
  • The look on the characters’ faces
  • The sounds the characters make, the way they move, the things they say
  • The intensity of suspense leading to the act and after the act
  • Making the reader experience the moment with the characters
  • The transition into something deeper, greater or better for the characters

These are just some of the reasons we love sex in fiction. It takes the story to a completely new level and makes the characters more real. It is exciting because sex is action. It’s never boring, unless you make it so. If it exists in fiction, it should always exist for a purpose . . . to move the story forward, to learn more about the characters, to establish a connection with the reader, etc.

What makes “the bad” in writing sex?

  • Emotional detachment between characters or lack of chemistry
  • Lack of detail
  • No sexual climax or a dull climax
  • No connection or chemistry between characters and reader
  • No involvement of the five senses
  • Rushed, pointless sex just for the sake of sex
  • When readers only remember the book’s sex scenes and nothing else
  • Confusing positions
  • Horrible dialogue

These are just some of the ways writing sex scenes can become bad. In this case, you can remove the scene and the story should be able to flow nicely.  If the story doesn’t flow nicely without the sex, rework the story or it will fail to capture the reader. Sex is a part of life and it can be a great part of your characters’ lives if you write it right.

When does writing sex get ugly?

  • When your closest friends are afraid to touch the book
  • When critics say you’re going to hell
  • When it sparks religious debate
  • When others question your sanity
  • When people judge you by what you write
  • When your mother says she loves your sex scenes . . . ew.

The last one was a poke at humor . . . anyway.  Sex is very powerful. Some people have their minds set on what is right and what is wrong in sex and they are not afraid to tell you their point of view of a certain sex scene or act.

Some people go as far as to tell you what you should and should not write. “You should write YA books, those are pretty popular.” Some people will display their disgust with you openly. Some people will question your reasoning and wonder if you were ever touched by an uncle. Trust me, this is “the ugly” in writing sex and you should prepare yourself for it.

When your fictional sex becomes personal is when it gets ugly; you are constantly trying to defend yourself. However, do not let this discourage you from reading or writing sex. The same people that criticize it are the same people that do it every day. Because, let’s face it, sex is natural. Also as popular as erotic romance is now days, odds are you will have many supporters.

Now if you just read it, write it or both, let the sex in fiction make you blush. I still blush to this day.

Leslie Lee Sanders likes to describe herself as an author of fiction and fiction with spice because not all of her books are erotic in nature. Lately, she’s been geared toward writing erotic romances mostly in the gay and ménage categories. Blade Publishing recently contracted her novellas What a Girl Wants (2009) and Impersonating Sam. Impersonating Sam will be available sometime this year (2010). She is also the author and creator of Three’s a Crowd the book and the online erotic serial about three college students (MMF) in love.

You can find Leslie here:

Official website:

Three’s a Crowd online erotic serial: