Chandra Ryan’s Truths and Consequences
Posted by Lisa Pietsch on May 3, 2010
My guest today is the lovely Chandra Ryan.
~~~
“I can’t make you do anything. Nobody can. There are always consequences, but if you’re willing to face them you can do whatever you like.”
I’ll never forget where we were when my mom said those words to me. We were on the gravel road that led to our home. I can still smell the chalky-thickness of the dust that was blowing up around the car. What I don’t remember was what’d started the conversation. I’m guessing my mom wanted me to do something I wasn’t too keen on. Probably homework or some chore. But that statement stuck. I didn’t have to do anything. Nobody was forcing me to live my life a certain way. I made the decisions and then I faced the consequences. It was a powerful realization for a young girl. And it was a realization that found its way into my newest release, Dragonborne.
Sophie had grown up in the church. She’d lived her life to the letter of her church’s law, despite her own personal beliefs. But when the children in her village start dying, she can’t accept it’s the will of their deity. And when a dragon helps her discover the true cause of the plague, she has to decide if she’s going to continue living a life ruled by expectations or start following her own convictions regardless of consequence.
It was a powerful story for me to write because it reflected back to the time in my life where I started making conscious decisions. To the time when I started taking control of my life instead of letting the winds of fate and the expectations of others drive it. And it’s a story I’m very proud of.
To celebrate its recent release, I’m giving away a pdf copy of Dragonborne to a commenter. Just tell me if there was a piece of wisdom your parents passed to you that continues to be important to your life.
If you’d like to read the blurb or an excerpt for Dragonborne they can be found on my website: http://www.chandraryan.com/
Maria D. said
My parents taught me three very important things, first that there are consequences to every decision we make and that we need to be prepared to face them, that you need to “guard your tongue” because things said in anger do come back and bite you and that “you can’t please people all of the time” but that you should strive to get along with everyone as best you can. Thanks for the post and the contest!
chandraryan said
Oh yeah, I’m a firm believer in the “guarding your tongue” one. There’s nothing worse than saying something in anger and then having it come back on you after everything’s settled down.
wanda flanagan said
My parents taught me many things that have stayed wth me but I think the most important and valuable were to always be myself and to stand up for what I believe in .
chandraryan said
That’s a great one. I can’t remember all the times I’ve gone off course because I was trying to please other people instead of being true to myself. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Beth C. said
The only thing I learned from my dad was how I didn’t want to be with my own family. He wasn’t bad, just indifferent.
I’m sure I learned things from my mom, but they have become such a part of me that I can’t place anything specific. Can’t remember any specific “piece of wisdom” that she taught me, but she did raise me and taught me how to be a decent mom(even if I was a latch-key kid from the 6th grade on). I’m sure a lot of what I am and live by was at least influenced by her.
chandraryan said
I’m glad you were able to overcome a difficult relationship and turn it into a positive in your own family dynamics. That’s something a lot of people struggle with so you should definitely be proud.
Nancy Gilliland said
My parents once told me that the only thing in the way of what I want to be or do is ME. They taught me right from wrong, and expected me to do what was right for me, not necessarily for everyone. Above all, my mom always said “be true to yourself, and nobody can stop you”
chandraryan said
What a great piece of advice, especially living in a time of constant media bombardment. I sometimes wonder how any children find their own voice. But I guess that’s what parents are for, huh?
Gabrielle Jones said
I can’t reall think of any wisdom that my parents passed down to me at the moment, but I do have this little quote that my brother likes to use. “Life is life you just gotta live it, some lives turn, and mine takes pivots.” It has sort of sort of stuck with me.
chandraryan said
Too true! There have been several times I thought I had my life figured out only to have it do a 180 on me. But you keep soldering on and somehow it seems to find a way to work out. It’s amazing.
Paige Purnell said
My parents taught me that anything worth having in life does not come easy. My dad never let me give up on the things I wanted to do even when I wanted to because I thought it was too hard.
chandraryan said
That’s probably one of the most difficult, but also one of the best lessons to learn. It can be really tempting to give up on something that’s difficult, but the reward of mastering it and knowing it was difficult is one of the sweetest feelings in the world.
Fedora said
My parents taught me to be generous because no matter how little we think we have, we still have enough to share. It’s something I’m trying to teach my kids now–we’ve got a lot more than I remember us having growing up, and the same principle still applies; generosity is a good way to live
Thanks for sharing and for the contest, Chandra! Congrats on Dragonborne’s release!
chandraryan said
Thanks for the congrats and for the wonderful piece of wisdom. Generosity is a good way to live! And there can never be too much of it in the world. Even if you don’t have have any extra money, volunteering or even listening to a friend who’s had a crummy day can be such a blessing.
jennifer mathis said
my mama always said i was sane once then i had kids and i always laughed and now i have kids and yes i feel a little nutty lol
meandi09@yahoo.com
chandraryan said
LOL! A laughing mother is the best kind in my opinion
Robin S said
I think the one thing I can remember that Mom taught was the value of responsibility and that despite wanting to have books, videos or clothes that household bills came first. If they were paid then I could do whatever I wanted with my monies because I earned it. I didn’t always like it but I lived it the way Mom taught me. Another thing I remember is that mistakes were okay because they taught us valuable lessons. I should never feel shamed because I made a mistake because no one but God lead a perfect life.
chandraryan said
We’re still trying to teach our kids how to handle money. That’s a tough one, especially with everything being plastic now. How do you teach them the value of something that seems as easy as sliding a piece of plastic through a machine? And she was a very smart lady to teach you that you learn through your mistakes. If I wasn’t a firm believer in that one I’d probably never do anything for fear of messing up.
Sue Brandes said
My mama always said, “What comes around goes around.” And it could come back to bite you in the butt so watch what you do or say. I was taught a lot of great things but’ didn’t really learn them to well till I got on my own. LOL. I was told the one about having your own kids too. LOL. I always tell my daughter that her daughter is just like her. LOL. Your book cover is beautiful. Cannot wait to read it. Thanks for the interview.
chandraryan said
Thank you. I love the cover. Kanaxa, the artist, did such a fantastic job.
I think it’s so true that you get back what you put into life. Some day that’s harder for me to remember than others
I’ve also found that people often treat you the way you treat them…not always, but often. I’m not sure if my mom ever wished children just like me on me, I don’t think she did. That might be how I ended up with two boys 
Milinda said
The only real pieces of wisdom I got came from my Dad and those came after I reached adulthood: Always take responsibility for your own actions. That and “CYA.” Of course, he had to explain what that meant too.
That said, I’m stealing your Mom’s words of wisdom and hanging them on my wall. Those are wise indeed.
chandraryan said
That is very wise of him. Taking responsibility is hard. There are days I feel like I just can’t be responsible for one more decision. Those are the days that my husband gets to pick what we’re having for supper
I’m not sure I know what ‘CYA’ stands for, but I think I have a good guess. I’m off to google to find out if I’m right.
chandraryan said
Hey I was right
Cheryl Bradley said
My mom was always stressing the Golden Rule: Treat others as you’d like to be treated. I know she was right about that one!
chandraryan said
I love the golden rule! And it’s one we’re trying really hard to teach our children as well. They, however, have tried to convince me that if we treat people how we want to be treated then we should treat others the way they treat us. So I hear, ‘but he pinched me so I figured must want to be pinched’. We call it child logic
stacey smith said
I wish my Mother new that.she is always getting in trouble and not taking responsibility for here actions i wounder if all alcoholics are like that.
sasluvbooks(at)yahoo.com