GTO Judge 1969

I didn’t mind so much when he put the bullet in the little zombie girl’s head, but I nearly cried when they wrecked the GTO Judge.  There ought to be a law against doing that sort of thing.  There aren’t many of those babies left in this world and they need to be on somebody’s endangered species list.

I don’t know about you, but I would have put my clothes on before leaving the hospital.  I know he was pretty freaked out about what was going on behind those padlocked doors, but he really should have taken a moment to collect his shoes.

 

 

FYI for when the zombies come:

Be sure you’ve got good shoes on.  If you can’t run, you’re pretty much zombiebait.

 

Never step into a dark stairway with nothing but a pack of matches.  You don’t know what’s in there.  He’s really lucky the boogeyman didn’t grab him by the ankles and start sucking off his toes.  You’re in a hospital, grab some alcohol, make a torch, but never go into a dark stairway.

Deputy DoRight walked right by a military encampment without even considering picking up a humvee or a gun.  Here he is, walking around with nothing but his scivvies on and doesn’t even consider these two key tools in avoiding becoming lunchmeat – but he steals a bicycle.  This should never be your first choice in high-speed transportation.

FYI for when the zombies come:

You don’t need a key to start a humvee and you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to fire an M-16.  If you have a chance to get either, do it!  Just don’t forget the ammo!


Leon Bassett’s death (the dumb deputy with the safety on) was very realistic.  Well done, special effects team!

A walk in the park?  Really?  What was that about?

Why didn’t Deputy DoRight load up on gas cans before he left?

FYI for when the zombies come:

Get gas cans, lots of them, and fill them up before you go.

Learn how to hotwire a vehicle unless you want to pick through dead folks’ pockets.


Let’s talk about Shane.  His first scene was true to form.  I’m not surprised at all that he hooked up with Lori (Deputy DoRight’s wife).  He’s that kind of guy – a horndog.  I am a little surprised that Lori would be willing to risk her life when her son is still alive.  She’s just as dumb as Deputy DoRight, apparently.  I’m also a bit surprised she has any time for hookups though, what with the zombies and all.  But hey, maybe it’s a life affirming thing for her.

Here’s where I really take issue:

Riding a horse down a highway when you know that zombies are thick?

Deputy DoRight might as well have been riding a chocolate cake into a Weight Watchers’ meeting!

FYI for when the zombies come:

Find a Jeep, preferably a closed one with a sun roof so you can mount a high caliber weapon up there when you pick up another breather.  If you can find a Wrangler with a winch and a big ‘ole redneck style lift kit, all the better!  Get some bungee cords and you can mount your gas cans on the rear bumper.

(No, I haven’t given this any thought at all.)


Speaking of high caliber weapons, Deputy DoRight rode right by a loaded 50 caliber automatic rifle (and another humvee).  This boy needs to think on a bigger scale.

No gun drawn even though he knows zombies are afoot.  Need I say it?

“Hey, you.  Dumbass.  Yeah, you in the tank.  Cozy in there?”

That was the perfect closing line because our hero has shown himself to be a bit on the dumbass side thus far.

Did you watch the Walking Dead?  Are you ready for when the zombies come?

Tell me what you think.  Let’s have a little fun and talk zombies!