clothes, scale, weight loss, fat clothesThis is a picture that is very important to me right now.  No, it isn’t my dirty laundry.  It is a basket of clothes that I can no longer wear.  They aren’t worn out and it isn’t that I’m some kind of fashion diva who has to throw out last season’s clothes.  These are the clothes that I was wearing at this time last year that are so ridiculously large on me now that I can’t wear them without looking silly.

This laundry basket full of clothes represents my loss of fifty pounds of dead weight.

For years I tried to lose weight but for years I never slept through a whole night uninterrupted.  With two children, somebody is bound to wake up in the middle of the night with a cough, a bad dream or a wet bed.  As the mommy, it was my job to take care of it and I did.  But something happened.

The details would be TMI but let’s just say I finally got straight with a situation in my life, the kids started sleeping through the night, and then I did.  That’s when the weight started coming off.  I kept wearing the “fat clothes” but I knew where the real me was hidden.  She was in a box of clothes I’d packed away years ago, a box of clothes I could never part with because they were the clothes I’d worn when I was happiest.  The clothes I wore when I was free of this huge burden of weight, the physical manifestation of a very, very unhappy woman.

Last week I opened that box of clothes and started wearing them.  I could finally fit into them once again.  I finally started feeling like ME again.

This basket of clothes behind the scale represents somebody I never really was, somebody I was expected to be but couldn’t if I were going to be true to myself.

I’m finally starting to live my truth.  It hasn’t been easy and there were some major sacrifices I had to make but I had been pushed to the point, both emotionally and physically, where I had to make them.

I’m finally coming into focus now, and all those people who thought I was that other woman, well, they’re in for a surprise.

I don’t give a damn what the scale has to say today. 

Sometimes you just have to listen to the laundry basket and know that everything is going to be OK.