“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

 

I’ve made up my mind to be happy, grateful and live in the moment.  I gave myself permission to not worry about all the many things going on and just live fully in each moment.  It’s amazing how much energy we have to live our future once we drop the baggage of the past.

 

I’ll admit there was a while there, shortly after I woke up to what was going on, when I ran the gamut of raw, negative emotions.  I felt hurt, betrayed, wronged.  I felt like years of my life had been stolen and I was very angry.  That led to some dark times for me.  There was a span of several months that were what can only be described as “the dark night of the soul”.  I was only feeling the negative and oddly enough, all that was coming into my life was negative.

 

Whether you subscribe to The Secret: I was only feeling the negative so I was only manifesting negative, the Wiccan Rede: Everything you do comes back to you or just early Christian teachings: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”, I wasn’t going about things as I should.  I was angry and putting it out there and that just made the pain last longer.  Finally, I remember thinking “It’s time to turn this thing around”.  In fact, I fell asleep, lonely and crying, saying it over and over to myself.  When I awoke the next day, January 1, 2012, I knew what I had to do.

 

I had to do what I loved, do it well, and have faith that the money would come.

 

So I did, I did, and it did.

 

Not a lot of money came, but somehow enough would come in so I could support my ultra-modest lifestyle.  Then my attitude changed and things started to snowball in a positive way.  Good things started happening.  Good people started coming into my life.  Good opportunities started presenting themselves.  Life got better and I wasn’t angry anymore.

 

I still have too much month at the end of the money and don’t live a life of decadent luxury, but things are getting better.

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