What I Do

You are the wolf, the wolf, winston wolfe, pulp fictionI am the Winston Wolfe of social media.

(If you don’t understand the reference from Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction then you probably aren’t ready to work with me.)

I’m Winston Wolfe.  I solve problems.

I solve social media problems.  Clients come to me with a hodge-podge mess of social networks and, within 3 months, I get things straightened out and running like a well-oiled machine.

Then I manage it for them.  Wordpress websites, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, Wattpad, Instagram, Tumblr, YouTube, the whole barrel of social media monkeys.
barrel-of-monkeys-3monkeys1
I assess a prospective client’s current social media situation and offer my recommendations.  If we decide to work together, I’ll compare those recommendations against the client’s goals for their career, create a strategy to get them to their goals, and then put that strategy into action through daily management in the client’s own voice.

Because of the personal nature of social media, I have to enjoy reading my clients’ books, using/consuming their products, or know them personally to consider working with them.  I do what I do so my clients can stop worrying about social media and just do what they do.

Here’s how the Process works:

Either you don’t have time to take care of your social media or you’ve made a complete Royale with Cheese out of the mutherf***er.  With over $1 million in ecommerce being done online EVERY 30 SECONDS, either way, you’ve got a problem.
clean it up deal

 

Great social media doesn’t happen overnight

First email me at Lisa@LisaPietsch.com or, better yet, fill out the form below.
call your people
I’ll take some notes.

No, I don’t want to know about your Aunt Mary’s bursitis.

Yes, I already know you don’t have time to “play” with your social media.  Trust me, this isn’t playtime.  Social media is serious business.

When I ask for your social network addresses, don’t give me www.Facebook.com.

Do I look like an asshole?

Give me the address to YOUR little slice of home on that network.  Give me that http:// address that shows up in the top of your browser when you look yourself up as a stranger would.
note taking
After that, don’t change anything. You’ve farted around this long, so give me a couple days to analyze the situation. If you go in there and act like a showoff, making big changes before I can complete my analysis, you’re wasting my time.

I don’t like having my time wasted.

trade on reputation
I trade on my reputation

Let’s get something straight here: I trade on my reputation. I don’t need you to tell me not to share your passwords with anyone. Would I be working with New York Times Bestsellers and multi-million dollar brands if I were telling the world their secrets?

I get in, I do what I need to do, and then I get out. I don’t care if your girlfriend is sexting sweet nothings by direct message on Facebook. What you do in your personal life and personal accounts is your business. The accounts that make you money – that’s my business.

I solve problems
Calm, efficient, succinct

When we decide to work together, I need your complete trust.  I don’t work well if you try to micro-manage me and I certainly won’t work with you for long that way.  If everything I do with your social media has to be passed through a committee then just stop reading now and move along.

Please don’t try to tell me when, where, and how much to post to your social media accounts because you read an article.

You read an article?  That’s great.  I live eat and breathe this shit.

Are you going to tell Michael Phelps how to win a 100-meter Butterfly?

Shit no, mutherf***er.

You’re going to back off and watch him do his thing.

Are you going to give Michael Schumacher the keys to your car and then tell him how to take the corners?

Hell, no!

So you’re going to give me the keys to your social media, back off, and let me do what I do.

clean the fucking car

 

Time is money

I’m not here to hold your hand and blow smoke up your butt.  If you want someone who is going to make you feel all warm and fuzzy, go get a Teddy bear.

tbearIf you want a social media class so you can learn how to do this yourself, take my annual class through WriterU or one of my Udemy courses.  If you want to question how I know what I know, why I do what I do, or test my social media knowledge, then book a phone interview and pay me for my time ($50/hr).

We aren’t going to talk on the phone like besties or have staff meetings online either.  I’m not your staff, your flunky, your roady, or your bitch.  I’m an independent contractor and I can terminate our relationship just as easily as you can.  We work together because we choose to, not because you’ve got me over a barrel for the money.  And while we’re on the topic, whatever you pay me does not buy my every waking moment.  I have other clients – great clients – and I have a waiting list of people who want to be my clients.  When I quote you a rate, that’s based on how many hours I feel your social media needs every month and how much time I can allocate to those needs.  My rate is $50 an hour.

What can I do in an hour?

I can build you a complete website and frontload your blog with reviews your book or product has received.

I can create your Facebook & Google Business Pages, a Twitter account, a Pinterest account, and have quality content in each of them.

Yeah, I get shit done.

unless I do it first

 

Nobody does anything unless i do it first

If you want your social media to hum along like a well-oiled public relations machine then I need the information you have.  Send me an email when you have a new product launch or something you want to release to the masses.  Expect an email when I need specific information from you too.  If I can’t get into your accounts, I can’t fix them or build them.  Time is money.

Let me say that again:

Send me an email when you have something you want to release to the masses.   

Don’t send it out to one of your networks and just think that’s all that needs to be done.  How’s that been working for you so far?

No, you send it to me and I’ll make sure each network gets the information they need.  I can’t promote your latest book or product if I don’t know about it until after the release, can I?

You do what you do and I’ll do what I do.  I’ll send you an end of month report explaining how much your networks have grown along with the bill for my services for the coming month.

You still here?

There may be hope for you yet.

 

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